I hate this feeling.

This. 

Every girls get jealous easily. I've always thought that I'm the only one. I'm very serious when being in a relationship. I take these feelings very seriously. I've been single for more than a year now. My friends were all curious about me not having a boyfriend after the previous one. I kept telling them that I just don't want one at the moment. The truth is, I'm not ready to begin a new relationship. I'm currently still healing from the pain caused by my ex. People that know me do ask if I have someone in mind. Well, apparently I do. 

I told my mom that I do not wish to get married in the future. The ones that are close to me know that too. And of course, she asked why. I told her is because there are no good/real man in this world and I do not wish to marry a guy like my dad. She kept silence because she, herself knows how my dad is. No one likes him. The reason why she doesn't want to to get a divorce is because of her children. Right now mom, I can tell you that we don't need him. He doesn't care about us. All he cares about are his friends. Like what you said mom, "We could still survive with or without him." Yes, mom. We definitely can. He never tries to support this family. I don't want to see you cry anymore, mom. He doesn't deserve your tears. Wipe it all away. You still have us, your children. 

Although, you're not the best mother in the world, but I still love you with all my heart. We may not be best friends like every mother and daughter are, but that doesn't mean that I won't care and love you. I hope one day we can talk about everything. I'm still waiting on that day. Just know that I love you and I will always be there for you.